Amare Pati Est
by minnie313
Summary: Minerva is sick worried because Albus still isn'tback from an Order mission. Flash-backs and heartbreaks, but will they still be able to made their future together ?


Hi!!! Now, here comes my the first part of my story Amare pati est. It's a tad tearful... I still don't know how much, maddit, because I haven't written that part of the story.... yet!!! muhahaha!!! ;) It should have a happy end... so don't you worry, it all will be well... ;)

Disclaimer: what you thought I owe HP ??? Wow!!! I'm flattered but it is unfortunately untrue!!! HP is NOT mine!!! ;)

Rating: T

Summary: Minerva is sick worried because Albus still isn'tback from an Order mission. Flash-backs and heartbreaks, but will they still be able to made their future together ?

Just so you know: the story is normally on Minerva's POV, but the flashbacks are neutral. Enjoy!!! ;)

Amare pati est

Part 1 : Amare meminisseque

I remember it. Yes, I still do. As I lay there in my bed, feeling like dying because I'm so sick worried about him, I let my thoughts drift to those 19 happy years of my past. If my mind is drawn to it, it must be because of the similarity of the circumstances of both situations... After all, both now and then, Albus had been away on an Order mission for two weeks and I had not heard from him since his departure.

Flashback (19 years ago: the 13th August 1976)

She was looking outside the window. The weather was soft : a light breeze was blowing and the tempearature, reaching the 20's° was quite nice for 1 am on a mid-august night. Her eyes were fixed on the ground, watching the soft breeze caressing the Dark Lake, creating little waves on its surface. The grass was softly bending to it too, and she could see the Forest's dark edge. The forest was (and still is) very dark, both by day and by night. One could actually say that it is the "dark side" of Hogwarts because it was supposed to be full of dark creatures!!!

"Pfff..." she thought "If I remember correctly, Unicorns and Centaurs are NO dark creatures!!! But well... some (to not say MOST) are so dense!!! "

But the important thing of her obsession with that Forest that night is that she saw a dark figure leaving those woods. Her worry increased...

"Who the fucking hell is that ??!!!"she thought "Albus ? surely not! a Death Eater? very probably! Who else ? I don't know!!! Well, I better go meet him at the front doors, friend or foe!!!"

She quickly made her way from her office to the front doors so that she was there a few minutes before the intruder. This was the moment the clouds decided to move and reveal the face of the moon. The moon, shining, lit the grounds, and so, the place where the intruder stayed. She cried, half-surprised, half-relieved:

"Albus!"

He had lost weight, he lacked of sleep, but notwithstanding, he still was the Albus dumbledore she knew so well, with the long silver beard, the twinkling blue eyes (though, at this time, they were rather dull) as well as his half-moon spectacles and the breathtaking bright smile he gave her as he recognized her.

Unable to stay away from him anymore, she ran to him and launched herself in his arms. She didn't know how long they had stood there, holding (or rather clunching to) each other ightly, his hands on the small of her back, his arms round her waist while hers where round his back. All she knew was that she felt contented by this proximity. She had craved for it so much ! She loved him so much! (and, in fact, still did) She had been in love with im since her 6th yer, during her animagus training. They had grown from a normal teacher-student relationship to a deep form of friendship at the end of her two years apprenticeship under him, two years after her graduation.

She had craved for him to hold her, to touch her, to... to love her in every sense of the word. She had been torn between relief and pain when she had "left" him to become an auror. And before she had become the Hogwarts Tranfiguration teacher, they had stayed in touch and had seen each other quite often. She had actually tried very hard to stop loving him, in vain.

Then, when se returned to Hogwarts for teaching, they had grown closer and closer, especially when she had become his Deputy, but nothing had taken place between them. He was even married with a (horrid) woman during four years, after which she left him and ran away with another guy... well... at least, she had been there to comfort him and they had grown even closer... But she still was sure of his lack of romantic feelings towards her.

And there! There! He was holding her so tight she tought all her ribs would break!!! Not that she care, anyway. How could she actually care when she was finally recieving the contact she had so much craved for ? She pulled him even closer to her, as she began to sob, releasing the tension of the past two weeks.

One of his hand rubbed her back and another went round her neck, gently pulling her head who came to rest on his chest, both his thumbs drawing soothing circles on her soft skin. She began to calm down a little as her sobs subsided. Albus couldn't help himself and he deeply inhaled the intoxicating scent of lavender of her hair.

She raised her head, her eyes were red and puffy, her hair was messy, her cheeks flushed, her lips slightly parted. He thought she was beautiful, more than any woman, more than any painting, more than any sculpture of Aphrodite. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, resisting to his urge of kissing her right now till she could breath no more. Then, their eyes locked and she all but whispered softly:

"I thought I had lost you"

"My dear, you..."

"Those two weeks, I barely slept, I barely ate. I was barely able to focus because I... Iwas so ... so worried!! I thought you were injured or that they had either taken or killed you! Every night, I would see you dead and... I felt so miserable... so alone and scared without you..."

Again, she burst into sobs and he pulled her to chest once again. He did his best to comfort her, gently rubbing her back and whispering sweet nothings to her ear. She eventually stopped and he whispered softly:

"I'm right here, Tabby. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

"You promise ?"

"Yes, I promise"

Their eyes locked once again and they slowly leaned in, their lips moving forward to their reaching-point. Then, they kissed and, for them, it was as though the world all around them had faded away. Her arms were soon round his neck and up his chest while his were round her waist, his hands roaming up and down her sides. He gently nibbled her lower lip and his tongue entered her mouth as she granted him the access he requested. The feel of their own tongue stroking the other's, the heated battle they had begun, the warmth and the scent of the other right there, so very close to each other, it all made their mind literally fly away, as if they were in a secure heaven.

But they had eventualy to pull back by lack of air. Their eyes locked (again, yes) and he spoke sadly:

"Minerva, I... we can't"

"Why ? oh... you... don't love me, do you ?"

"No! I... I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world... but as you sure well know, I'm still married and..."

"What?

"It would be scandalous... it... they would ruin your reputation, your..."

"Who would ?"

"I don't know, the Border of Governors, parents, people... plues, you would be in danger, with this war ragging outside..."

"Don't you want to be with me ? I ... I love you, Albus! I... I want to be with you and... you say you love me... If you do, don't you want it too ?"

"Oh, Minerva" he whispered, his right hand cupping her cheek, his thumb soflty caressing her soft beautifully swollen lips, "I long for it so much... but we can't, my beautiful kitten... If they know, my love they will hurt you, dishonore you, they will..."

"Well then, they don't need to know, do they ?" she asked, her soft voice shaking with anguish.

He smiled sadly, but his eyes began to twinkle just a bit.

"My dear, are you sure about this ? I mean, we would not be able to 'be together' publicly, nor to have children, to marry, to..."

"I know it would be difficult to explain to the Board of Governors, wouldn't it?" she smiled shyly "Then, there is also the fact people could use me to hurt you. I understand the fact we would have to be together in secret... It doesn't repulse me. And you know, I can live with you without being married to you... as for children, the school is full of it and my cubs have always been like my own children to me... really, Albus, as long as I'm with you, I'll be fine."

"Yes, but my dear, are you really sure ? What if you one day, you find I'm not good enough for you (which I'm pretty sure I am)? What if, despite all you've just said, you suffer from not having a wedding or children ? What if you wake up one day and you find you don't love me anymore ? What if I'm too old for you and you fly away from me ? What if ...?"

"Albus, stop! Enough of this nonsense! Do you know how long I've loved you, dreamed of you, desired and wanted you ?"

"I..."

"I've loved you since I was 16, Albus." she put he hands on his chest and kissed his lips softly before saying: "I love you to the very bottom of my soul, Albus Dumbledore. I have loved you all this time and I won't stop loving you. Ever."

"Well... in that case" he said, his arms coming to rest on her waist "may I suggest we retire to my quaters to relax in a sofa with, perhaps, a nice glas of red wine ? "

"No"

"Oh ?" he replied looking a bit disappointed.

"No, my love, you may not, you must. But before that... kiss me please ?"

He smiled and whipered:

"Anytime, my love"

Then, he kissed her with an ardent passion that made her toes curl in her shoes.

End of Flashback...

I smile as I remember how we "relaxed" that night. Albus was and still is a gentle and attentionate lover, doubled with a playful side Iwhich I've always found rather ... interesting.

I shake myself mentally and walk to the window. A shadow on the ground is strolling to the castle. Arrived near the walls, the person raises his head and our eyes locks.

Cerulean blue into Emerald green.

My heart stops a beat from the joy I feel at the moment: it's HIM.

Albus has returned.

tbc...

so... how is it till now ?? review please!!!!!!!


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